Amma loves you Ali Farzan

Do you remember the way you were used to sleep

Do you remember the way you were used to sleep. Keeping my right hand under your head and holding the left by both your hands. I knew this way of sleeping sooth you but always told you that amma cannot sleep without putting hand under your head. It made you feel big as you felt amma needs you rather than the way round. You started getting independent in the past one year. Now it was not my duty to take book from your hand. I didn’t hinder your increased engagement with reading and left it for you to decide when to sleep. You took full advantage of it. I was a bit disappointed when you told me not to put hand under your head after reaching Memphis. I took it as a sign of independence and really liked the way you were making space around yourself. 

Dinky, paper plane, piece of wood, sticker, piece of cloth-anything could have been found under your pillow. You had a small fantasy world operational before sleeping. Anything apparently useless was priceless for you as it was part of the fantasy world. You never shared what that fantasy world was about but my guess is that it was about cars, fighting, weapons, action and friends. You were very engaged in these acts and looked very serious. Nani has so many stories about your nap time in the afternoon. You found a very good solution to her complaints about you not taking nap. The first thing to tell me once I enter in the house on such a day was ‘Amma see nani didn’t let me sleep this afternoon’ followed by your own version of the story in which you were certainly an innocent character. There was innocence in this mischief dear as it told me about the care you had for me. You went back to God with such innocence. This characteristics is as rare as your love for me.Image

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9 responses

  1. Don’t have the courage to write something about Ali.

    Like

    February 11, 2014 at 10:28 am

  2. Mujtaba

    Once ammi wasn’t home and she gave me the responsibility to make Ali Farzan sleep. while making the effort I slept beside him and woke up after an hour, went up stairs for ten mins and when came back he was there having a sound sleep, but I felt some noise of holding a laugh; and it was Ali Farzan fooling me. All this time when I was asleep, He must be playing with those characters without making any noise. Not sleeping in the afternoon was a treat for Him and felt freedom in it.

    Like

    February 11, 2014 at 10:32 pm

    • I can visualize his giggle after the feel that he had fooled you. He must have enjoyed that.

      Like

      February 12, 2014 at 6:10 am

  3. Sukaina Kazmi

    “You had a small fantasy world operational before sleeping.” 🙂

    Like

    February 12, 2014 at 4:18 pm

    • Yes he had. I really enjoy recalling his indulgence.

      Like

      February 17, 2014 at 4:17 am

  4. Sukaina Kazmi

    The way you write and express Isbah baji again and again only highlights how no emotion, thought or an action was separated for you two. Please stay strong as you are and positive InshaAllah…he feels and understands you just as much.You were never separate souls to be taken apart in the first place. Together forever.

    Like

    February 12, 2014 at 4:20 pm

    • Together forever is keeping me alive dear. I trust this like anything.

      Like

      February 13, 2014 at 6:42 am

  5. SamiyaKazmi

    I remembered i used to play with him a vocabulary game so that he might go to sleep after getting a bit busy. Isbah baji ali knew such difficult words that i used to be like no its not a word and then he used to make a sentence out of it to prove no samiya khala there is.. he slept on my arm but had various techniques to avoid sleeping.. I am glad i spent that time and got to know him more and love him more.
    Love u ali
    U be the most ideal child my love 🙂

    Like

    February 17, 2014 at 6:37 am

    • oh that was his passion to avoid sleeping and to do certain things he liked at that time of the day.

      Like

      February 17, 2014 at 4:34 pm

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