Amma loves you Ali Farzan

You know when I first felt the warmth of the sun

You know when I first felt the warmth of the sunshine. It was the day when we were taking you home from the hospital after birth. It was afternoon when we came out of the hospital and I thanked God for the warm sunlight. I realized that the day was bright. I felt the liveliness on the road. For others it was an ordinary day but for me it was the beginning of a happy journey. I thanked God for so many blessings after you were born. The reason behind the realization was you. 

You know when I felt protected. It was whenever you were holding my hand while crossing the road. You were always holding my hand as if you were protecting me from the fast vehicles. The last time we crossed the road together you told me that it was bad to attempt crossing it other than near the traffic light. You said things are not the same in US. You pushed the button for getting the pedestrian light and I obeyed you like a child. I felt protected. I was afraid of darkness, so were you. But I never felt fear when you were in the room and electricity went off. Even if you were sleeping, you were a source of courage to me. 

You know when I felt fulfilled. It was whenever you finished a pizza or a burger. You were not fond of food. Making you eat was a job for all of us, even when you were 9 years old. But McDonalds, Pizza Hut and Dunkin Donuts made you hungry always. You were used to finish whenever something was purchased from there. On every such moment I felt as if you were grown up.

You know when I felt civilized. It was on most of the Sundays when you were ordering food and eating in the Club’s lawn. You behaved so well, as the club members should do. These places are all about manners and you knew how to behave. I have seen other parents who take pain in telling their kids how to practice etiquettes. You were so casual, at the same time, so accurate in manners at such places.

You know when I last felt warmth. It was the last time I held your hand. I felt your hand was tight as was used to be. I ran to the nurse and asked her to check. She came and said your condition was the same and there was no improvement in your responses. How can she know. It was all between a mother and her son.


6 responses

  1. SamiyaKazmi

    I still remember hearingthe news that ISBAH IS BLESSED WITH SON.. i was so restless to see how he looked.. but when yasir bhai emailed us a photo i wasable to watch how the angel took really long becz internet was not that advanced at that time. I printed the photo instantly to put it on the front of my cupboard as it was the most cutest picture of a newborn baby i had ever seen.. i still have that printed picture..


    March 7, 2014 at 6:28 am

    • Oh Samiya. He loves you too. I dont know but may be he can see us and feel our love for him. May Allah grant him this favour. He will still love to feel our warmth,


      March 7, 2014 at 7:39 pm

  2. SamiyaKazmi

    And it stayed on the cupboard for years as well..


    March 7, 2014 at 6:29 am

  3. Nadra

    You are one strong mother I ever met. May Allah grant you Sabar n give you all the happiness which you both deserve,Aameen. Ali Farzan is always in our prayers n he is always with you .I really love you n respect you the way you carry your self with Cute smile on your face. We all feel your pain my dear .our believe Is “KULLU NAFSIN ZAIKATUL MAUT”


    December 3, 2015 at 12:57 am

    • I know all of you know my pain and by behaving normally help me think that I am able to hide that. I am really blessed to have such shoulders in time of need. Ali Farzan is blessed to be here with people who love him without a reason.


      December 3, 2015 at 1:13 am

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