It took me two years to realize
It took me two years’ time to realize that attaching sadness to you is actually injustice to you. The time you spent with me here was full of life, joy, happiness, and truthfulness. And me being your ignorant amma, kept adding sadness, misery, doubt, and pity to our relationship. You know how limited my knowledge is. You always felt annoyed at my ignorance. Did not say it but the face expressions told amma every time that you disliked my unfamiliarity with so many things you knew.
Due to my incomprehension I doubted that you will refer to these pieces of writing when we meet. I want to record everything I do here in your absence as I desire you to do the same but did not have the valor. Now I have got that courage. I talked to Aliya Auntie, you don’t know her, she is a new friend of mine. Her only daughter is also with you. She has told me to be happy to keep you happy. If my happiness gives you some joy, I will do that. You dont know how much amma loves you. You had unbelievable faith in her but did not know the extent she can go in your love. I will try to tear the robe of sorrow to save you from even a shade of it. Your amma has no idea how closely you can watch her but you may feel the pain in my heart. To keep you happy, I need to rip off the agony to save you from even the slightest hue of it. You now live in a place offering nothing but joy and your mother should not be a source of distress. I want to meet you and see the same liveliness, brightness, and happiness on your face. It took me two years to realize that my own thoughts can take those away from you. And I cannot think of depriving myself of the joy of watching you with the same old expressions. So I will work on keeping those with you, and Ali Farzan you promise to do the same.