Amma loves you Ali Farzan

May you personify love!

The first thing I wanted to do this morning was to hug you. Hug you so tight that no beam of light or puff of air can pass in between. While enjoying the celebrations of love around I do want to hold your hand. I want to walk in the streets and on the untrodden paths and share the cheer with you. Besides these wishes, I am not having emptiness. That is a surprise for me. Maybe Razia Auntie is right and the travel from the womb to the heart has taken place. You exist in your fullness but within me. That emptiness is getting replaced by gratitude. I take every joy of life as a sign that you are happy at another location. The belief that you are enjoying other things at some other place keeps me calm. I see every smile on my face as a signal of you smiling far away. I take my care taken by Allah Mian as a message that He is you attending to you. I pray that the belief stay with me till we are not together.

You were not good in giving hug. Your resistance to it was obvious but this is how all the kids are in our house. I do not blame you for that. Your display of love was not in your hug but in your concern for others. Your cousins do not play in the same manner now. Whenever they meet, they play in groups of two or three. Their leader is no more with them to instruct and resolve their disputes. I am sure you keep doing these things but with others.

Now I have realized that every mother loves her kid with intensity. While we were together, I thought that our love was unique. In fact, it was! Which mother trust her son like I did? I did believe when you told me that you finished the Kangaroo test earlier because two questions were incorrect. Me, known in the assessment field, trusted the judgment of a mere child. I did believe when I said that you will buy a Ferrari within a year of getting the job. I did believe that you were pure and was going to remain the same. My trust in you was too idealist and Allah Mian has made a perfect arrangement to retain that.

How can our love be compared to other loves in this world. There was no pre-requisite, no calculation, no interpretation, and no negotiation. It was perfect with all the imperfect attributes of both of us. It should have been part of the greek mythology-your favorite engagement in the last one year in this world. If not, at least it should personify pure and unconditional love. Stay cherished and delighted. Amma is looking forward to all the stories of love from you.

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